I’ve never cared for the adage: When you pick my brain, you pick my pocket.

It’s right up there with my mother’s favorite dating advice: Why would a man buy the cow when he can get the milk for free.

Some, like my friend @Erin Halper advise “When you give away your ideas, you’re devaluing your work. As a consultant, clients are paying you for your ideas, even if they are super simple, easy, & obvious to you.”

I see her point.

Some call brain-picking a national epidemic.

Still others say: Why give away expertise you’ve earned over a lifetime; knowledge you spent a bloody fortune on at school; connections you’ve cultivated during your career, FOR FREE?

Don’t be a chump. Cough up the cash.

“At what point do we as professionals place a premium on ourselves & make other honor that premium,” Adrienne D. Graham asks in her book No You Can’t Pick My Brain: It Costs Too Much.

Would you ask your lawyer for free legal advice? Your doctor for free surgery? Your plumber to fix your pipes for free?

I doubt it.

So why in G-d’s name Robin do you persist in giving it away. FOR FREE. Listen to your mother!

The answer is simple. It makes me happy. The relationships I’ve made helping others have been life changing. & the helper’s high is actually power-fuel for success in life & work.

According to best-selling author, Adam Grant, I’m a Giver.

I subscribe to what he calls The Law of Unexpected Utility.

“By definition, you cannot know when you meet someone today where that person will land tomorrow. If you make every decision by asking "What will I get in return?" you'll miss out on these moments of serendipity.”

The best things in my life have always been serendipitous.

Grant’s book Give & Take distinguishes between Givers, Takers & Matchers (those who balance giving & taking in an even exchange of favors).

Givers say “How can I help.” Give without keeping score. Contribute without worrying what’s in it for me.

I have no use for Takers. Takers like to get more than they give. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world. If I don’t look out for me, who will?” Say they.

But I also see another personal style. The Guarders.

Guarders always have their guard up, ever suspicious of what others might be after. Worry someone may steal their thunder. They build a moat around their one big idea.

News flash: If all you have is one skill, one idea, you’re screwed. Especially in our multi-hyphenate world.

The key is to be ever curious. Always learning something new.

That way you are constantly inspired. & won’t feel like you need to hold on to ideas for dear life. Your source of Giving is replenished regularly.

So, what’s in it for the Giver?

Givers build great networks based on trust. & social capital is critical in our highly connected world.

Givers attract others to their projects leading to more opportunities. Bees to honey & all that.

What’s more, Grant argues, Givers contribute to a greater good that keeps them motivated & fulfilled which in turn improves their own work.

Then there’s Karma. Doing good attracts good into your life.

So how do you avoid becoming a doormat.

Do you have the bandwidth? Saying yes to everything can suck you dry.

Can you learn something from the other person? A form of reciprocity I personally love.

Are you helping someone make the world a better place? Pretty cool.

Grant suggests Sincerity Screening. If your Spidey Sense is saying someone is exploiting your energy, time or resources, walk away.

Giving doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Simple acts of kindness–an introduction, a lead, a note of appreciation–can have huge impact.

Look, I don’t do it all pro bono. After all, a girl’s gotta eat. & my services don’t come cheap. But, I’m always happy to spare an hour to hear what you’re up to.

& always happy to help. Let’s chat.

As American author Zig Ziglar wisely said: “Among the things you can give & still keep are your word, a smile & a grateful heart.”