Everybody loves a lover.

Everybody loves a lover.

It’s been a little over a year since my dad died. 

It was totally unexpected. He fell getting out of bed, hit his head and never regained consciousness. At the hospital, he was diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer. He never knew he had it. He never suffered – a blessing. 

As we prepared for his unveiling – the Jewish tradition of dedicating a monument at the one-year anniversary of the passing of a loved one – I began to reflect on his life – and what I learned from him.

My dad was a guy of grievance. 

He didn’t just have a chip on his shoulder.  He had a 2 by 4.  He was always bitter about not going to college to pursue a professional degree. 

It never mattered to him that he traveled the world, had enough money to live really well, loved his wife, had a passion – the NY Giants. 

He was miserable.

And reminded the world of it often 

When he passed, we had a very broken relationship. 

Like many families, politics got in the way. I’m a (proudly) liberal Democrat. Something he could not understand or forgive me for.

He had few nice things to say about anyone.

And as a consequence, he had few friends.

What I learned most from him was this:  Everybody loves a lover. 

Being positive, generous, understanding, kind and empathetic matters.

This has been my business mantra since the early days of my first agency. 

It guided my business partner and I (to try) to never bitch about a client’s transgressions. 

To be gracious even in the most difficult situations. 

Many years ago, our client of 8 years, Cover Girl, was purchased by P&G. Besides being business associates, we were super tight with the marketing team. In the re-org that followed, as often happens, P&G swiftly cancelled all consulting contracts.

Once we were formally notified, our client stopped answering emails or taking our calls.

Days of crickets dissolved into weeks. We were flummoxed.

We reached out. “Hey, what’s up. How’s it going?” Nada.

We gave it another shot the following week.  Again.  Silence.

We imagined they were busy and stressed, juggling the internal turmoil created by all the management changes. Maybe they were uncomfortable with the abrupt way it was handled. But for whatever reason, all communication stopped. Just like that.

Two weeks. Still crickets.

Now, we were steaming. “What the fuck! After all these years, what jerks!”

But we paused. And instead reminded one another — as we often did — everybody loves a lover.

We reached out again. This time more cheerfully.

“Hey, bummer about the cancellation. Thanks so much. What a great gig! Let’s do it again sometime.”

The door swung open. And when members of the marketing team eventually moved on, where ever they went, they called us. Which led to gigs at Playtex, Unilever, Calvin Klein. Revlon. Start-Ups like Jane Cosmetics. And so on. We built a hugely successful business based on these many wonderful, close relationships.

Moral here: A softer approach yields better results than stewing.

Everyone loves a lover. Your get more flies with honey and all that stuff.

It may not always be the best business practice. I tend to be overly generous with my time and advice.  I don’t subscribe to the adage: If you pick my brain, you pick my pocket. 

But when both sides walk in the shoes of the opposite side, the likelihood of a successful outcome is quadrupled.

Okay, I admit. There are times I catch myself ready to rant. Burning to take someone to task. 

When I do – I think of my dad. 

And Doris Day.